June 13, 2011
The day that you have all been waiting for is upon us. Monday, June 13th, is World Derivatives Day! For those of you who may be new to this most famous of hedging holidays, let us give you a brief history. Years ago, we at Chatham decided that we should set aside one day a year to contemplate and celebrate the ubiquitous derivative. Although the date has changed over the years from the first Monday in June to the second, the feelings towards this holiday remain the same.
Even though Hallmark has yet to create a card with which we can celebrate swaps and caps, World Derivatives Day is accompanied by many other holiday-like activities. We at Chatham enjoy the singing of hedging carols such as “I’m Dreaming of an Exercised Option,” “Shock the Hedge with Volatility,” “O Binomial Tree” and “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like FASB.” At 3pm, we will have a poetry reading open to all Chathamites. Read here some of the latest work by our Poet in Residence:
FAS 133 tells you
O what a happy
Day! Derivatives receive
Their holiday due!
Defeasance is the
Skeleton in the closet
For many old loans
After the closing,
Who will do your accounting?
We can help you out.
Last but certainly not least, we celebrate by the giving of gifts! We enjoy not only giving gifts to each other, but also to you! Is your mind reeling with questions? Let us see if we can answer a few:
Q: How can I celebrate with my friends at Chatham?
A: Call and wish us a “Happy World Derivatives Day!” between 8:30am and 5:00pm EDT for Kennett Square, and/or MDT for Denver, and you will win not one but two Chatham magnetic clips! Every caller can be a winner (just say the magic words!).
Q: Do voice mail messages, faxes or emails count?
A: Voice mail messages, faxes, emails DO NOT COUNT! To qualify, you need to convey your expression of love and good cheer to a bona-fide, live Chathamite.
Q: I haven’t talked to my friends at Chatham in a while, am I required to purchase or do anything other than wishing Chatham a “Happy World Derivatives Day?”
A: No purchase is necessary so please call just to say “Hi” even if you have no hedging to do. We’d love to hear from you!
Q: Is there a special prize for the 5th caller?
A: Yes there is! Every 5th caller receives a special Chatham 20 year anniversary coffee mug.
Q: Will there be a Grand Prize drawing and when will that be?
A: Again, yes! All eligible callers, (that excludes you, mom), will be entered into the Grand Prize drawing that will be chosen at random Wednesday morning at 9:30am EDT.
Q: Ok, so what kind of prizes are these??
A: This year’s grand prize is:
Grand Prize – 32gb iPad 2!
Q: How will I know if I’ve won the Grand Prize?
A: The Grand Prize winner will be contacted after the drawing. We will announce the big prize winners in next week’s newsletter.
Q: Is there any fine print?
A: Yes: Void where prohibited by law. Employees of Chatham Financial and their families are not eligible. Our offices will be closed on Saturday and Sunday in observance of World Derivatives Day.
DISCLAIMERS: Even though this event, (or this newsletter), may lead you to believe that we have several screws loose, we want you to know that we are fully competent in the derivatives department. While we never take ourselves too seriously, we take your risk management very seriously!