wisdom of crowds

We always chuckle whenever those DirecTV® commercials come on depicting a cascade of ever-worsening events. So we decided to pilot a few ads asking how bad things could really get in the hedging world – hope you enjoy!

Chicken Wing King

When you don’t hedge, you take risk.

When you take risk, you become a risk taker.

When you become a risk taker, sometimes you are handsomely rewarded.

When you are handsomely rewarded, you begin to think you are on to something.

When you begin to think you are on to something, you believe you can time the markets.

When you believe you can time the markets, you look for markets to time.

When you look for markets to time, you see an article about the looming shortage in chicken wings.

When you see an article about the looming shortage in chicken wings, you think you can make a killing in chicken wings.

When you think you can make a killing in chicken wings, you buy up all the available supply of chicken wings just before the start of football season.

When you buy up all the available supply of chicken wings just before the start of football season, you are dubbed the “Chicken Wing King” and celebrated by the financial press.

When you are dubbed the “Chicken Wing King” and celebrated by the financial press, a jealous Russian billionaire hires a team of poultry genetic scientists for a secret project.

When a jealous Russian billionaire hires a team of poultry genetic scientists for a secret project, the world is introduced to the 64-wing Super Chicken with regenerating drummettes that puts you out of business.

Don’t let a 64-wing super chicken with regenerating drummettes put you out of business. You should reconsider hedging today.

Ultimate Fighting Championship

When interest rates move against you, you get angry.

When you get angry, you start to throw things.

When you start to throw things, you mistakenly smash the boss’s championship belt from his Ultimate Fighting days.

When you mistakenly smash the boss’s championship belt from his Ultimate Fighting days, you realize you need to replace it.

When you realize you need to replace it, you come up with a plan to ask current UFC heavyweight champion Cain Velazquez politely if you could simply buy his belt.

When you politely ask current UFC heavyweight champion Cain Velazquez if you could simply buy his belt, he says “No, but I can give you this instead.”

When he says “No, but I can give you this instead,” you are treated to a series of Velazquez’s powerful and extremely swift punching combinations.

Don’t be treated to a series of Velazquez’s powerful and extremely swift punching combinations. Talk to Chatham and hedge your interest rate risk instead. It’s easier and you’ll feel better when you do!

Twitter

When you are waiting for just the right time to hedge your risks, you have time to kill.

When you have time to kill, you re-read the Meeting Minutes from the last FOMC meeting.

When you re-read the Meeting Minutes from the last FOMC meeting, you think you now know when the Fed will begin to taper.

When you think you now know when the Fed will begin to taper, you boast to your friends on Twitter about your prediction.

When you boast to your friends on Twitter about your prediction, a friend of a friend of a friend who works at the Federal Reserve shows Chairman Bernanke what you tweeted.

When a friend of a friend of a friend shows Chairman Bernanke what you tweeted, he accidentally clicks the retweet icon and your prediction goes to the worldwide financial markets.

When he accidentally clicks the retweet icon and your prediction goes to the worldwide financial markets, markets interpret this as imminent tapering and rates rise 211 basis points.

Don’t let rates rise 211 basis points while you are waiting for just the right time to hedge. Talk to Chatham and hedge your rate risk now.

Even though we had a great time dreaming up these ads, we’ve decided to stick to our day jobs of risk management and capital structuring advisory and technology. Give us a call, send us an email, let us know your chicken wing theories, throw things at us (well, maybe not that), or tweet to us your Fed predictions at @ChathamFin!